Starry destiny

I do not believe that someone can foretell your future...what is destined for you. Nonetheless I am curious by constitution. So I'd be lying if I told you I have never been to a soothsayer. It's amazing how they predict what lies in store in your future. Sometimes, it's utterly untrue, as has happened in several instances, and on some rare occasions they actually turn out to be true. And the latter part is what fascinates me the most. Can our stars/planetary positions indeed determine our destiny. Are we destined in merely the starry way? The answer, I believe, isn't so simplistic. I hear there's science involved. But if one could foretell one's destiny ever so nonchalantly, as someone did, very recently, what is it that i can do to make my own destiny? Can I never make my own destiny? Are we, really always, born with it? I still wonder at that unnerving thought...the idea that I have no control over my future, it's predetermined, preordained and that possibility is jarring indeed.

Blissfulness

Bliss...

1) Sitting in a shack, by the sea, and absolutely doing nothing (imagine Goa!)

2) Lying next to my partner, when my eyes meet his...no words said, yet meaning the world.

3) Feeling the happiness of my parents when I am around.

4) The pride in delivering a successful project at work after sleepless days and nights.

5) Travelling to places just to explore, experience and absorb.

6) A meetha paan after a heavy meal.

7) Just his smile, when he's happy, and when we are together.

8) Feeling wanted and needed by best friend.

9) Kadak masala chai on a monsoon ridden day.

10) Just being 'me' with people I love.

Motion

Even when I am surrounded by family and friends, I feel dislocated. It haunts me...this itchiness of not belonging anywhere, yet being somewhere. I try my level best to consume my surroundings, be a part of where I am, but incongruably I can never feel static. It's motion that drives me, gearing for the next big challenge, the next big change...will there ever come a time when I want to halt, take a breather, live life in one place...I doubt if that time's going to be anytime soon...

Adios, London.

I leave London day after. I have been in this city for more than a year, and to say the least, this place has taught me, given me a new horizon to a life I had never seen before. As I head back home, I know I have grown as a person...I have actually blossomed into who I want to be, have realised what really makes me happy, and what brings me happiness. I would always be grateful for the opportunity of having been here. Exposure nonetheless, I have learnt to value the smaller things of life...value where I truly belong and value things that I have always ignored before.
I don't know if London has made me a better person, but it has indeed aided me to becoming more complete. Understanding priorities, being self-reliant, loving and being loved too...
Adios to one of the most expensive cities of the world, and one that you need to explore yourself to know what life here really holds and what you ultimately want...

MUM-LHR-MUM

So, I was just lazing on the couch, flipping around with a zippo and leafing through FB pages, when my partner asked this rather humble, but indescribably deep question: 'Your heart isn't here [London], right? You want to be in B'bay...that's where your heart is...'
My first reaction was: I wish even I knew where my heart belonged.
Will my heart, actually ever belong to a particular city, location, destination?
I grew up and so far spent the better half of my life in Kolkata, literally 'grew up' in Pune, matured in Mumbai, learnt and experienced in London...and now back to same old B'bay. The question is, this time around how much more mature will the 'city of dreams' make me?
Growing up, indeed, am sure will continue in B'bay...but is that where my heart truly belongs, then? I wish I knew. But until then, probably it's my next, but not last stop. It's only a stopover.
And the day I figure what I want/desire as my city, my destination, I will not be the same nomadic soul...

The calm

The sudden calm encapsulates you, driving you towards numbness. Do you like it, enjoy it, be one with the subliminal being of not who you are? Not really. But you continue, hoping that the storm can be stalled...forever. One can only hope that the gush of wind doesn't drive you away, from where you cannot be brought back...too far away...out of reach and out of sight....

Dilemma

It's strange...the ways of life and the very essence of living. A winding path that brings you to a threshold that you least expected. Certain ways of your very being will change forever, giving you a perspective of life that you chose to experience...will that change who you really are?I hope not.